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My partner and I met at NYU during college, about nine years ago. On our second date, he said that he had something to tell me. He has a girlfriend. I have a trust fund. I went to a private high school on scholarship, so I was used to being the non-rich person among rich people, and I had a lot of pride attached to being the hard-working, scrappy kid.
I went to a private high school on scholarship, so I was used to being the non-rich person among rich people, and I had a lot of pride attached to being the hard-working, scrappy kid. I had a scholarship and financial aid in college, and I took out student loans too. I graduated in three years to save money and I had two jobs while I did it. I also grew up in a family that disparaged rich people. My mom was a nanny for a wealthy family and she judged them all the time for how they spent their money.
She saw it as very black and white: the haves and the have-nots. Things moved relatively quickly once we started dating. We also had a lot in common - we read similar things, and always had tons to talk about.
We moved in together after we both graduated. What if we each keep paying what we currently pay, and we look for an apartment in that price range?
And then we found an apartment we loved.
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Do we really need them? It was more of an identity crisis than a relationship conflict.
There was an element of giving up control. And of course, a lot of guilt about not deserving any of it.
I quit my job about five years ago so that we could move to Maine, where his family is from, and that was incredibly difficult.
A big fear for me was that one of us would resent the other.
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