Can polite brush off dating really. join
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Hi I am looking for advice on one specific thing - when he gave me what I thought was a polite brush off ending it was I right or did I read too much into it? The scenario: We had been dating and it was intimate. He said I was beautiful, interesting, amazing. He was beguiled. He owns a company which he intends to float. Last weekend we had a fantastic time. He got quite intense albeit tipsy as well.
Early on with dating, things are super fragile and one bad move can break a bonding relationship. Just learn from this and you will do better next time. Good luck. Thank you so much for this. I think between all your comments, I get it. I did instigate after the weekend because I felt more comfortable. Some of you - and him - saw that as pushy.
The polite brush offis it as it seemed?
No matter that I saw it as normal, he did not or was not there yet. Yes, I may have ended it hastily. But yes, he did nothing to stop me going. And I shall avoid anyone who only likes texting!
I have it all in my head. I agree with Philly. The only thing we can control in the dating process is knowing our makes and breaks. You will be rid of men like this one super fast and meet your right man super fast. Like what redcurlysue says, dating is a coping out process. You are scoping out if the man is compatible to your needs and wants and has the same moral values and good character.
You did nothing wrong in this instance. You may have been on the same bus but the two of you have different destinations.
I agree with so much everyone has posted. Trying to take the preemptive step before the guy breaks up with us! But I do think he was simply trying to tell you he was busy. But I also think that if you meant anything to this guy he would have called you or responded. And if he thought it was a misunderstanding he would have been quick to call you and tell you so. He said sweet things in order to get you in his bed. He just wanted sex. You were a playful distraction, sorry to say this.
All the rest is noise. Forget about him. When he will feel alone he will try to get close to you. So I asked him outright - why did he dump me? Not at all. The opposite was true. We were in a loop of thinking the other wanted out. Why ask such questions? After the first 2 weeks or so, during which time it should be clear that a guy initiates things, after that you can start initiating, but still do not double text.
Some guys will not respond to a text but will call you instead. The key is that a guy would want to see you in person and do things with you if he is into you.
Time and time again I see it in practice. So I find it strange that he thought you were not interested when you were the one asking him if he wants to do things together. I think he was, indeed, fading or slowing down things with you and then backpeddaled for some reason.
Polite brush off dating
I find it very interesting people say one thing and do another. All the sweet talk and sugar texts, for what? Why not just be straight? So he may not be honest with his answerbut even that holds a curiosity for me. Just how I am made. So he wants someone on standby that is low maintenance in the meantime. Me Well I want someone to go out to dinner with, walk around the shops, have lazy lie ins and completely wonderful sex.
Our timing is off for each other. Thought I would write the ate in case anyone else is trying to decode men. I am off on holiday soon for a few weeks on my own. Hopefully having new adventures. And definitely chilling out and focusing on getting an amazing tan!
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The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc. The polite brush offis it as it seemed? Viewing 23 posts - 1 through 23 of 23 total. May 6, at am Reply. May 6, at pm Reply. Sorry that should read Because of this, communication has been difficult between us. Thanks again guys!
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May 9, at pm Reply. The curse of the texttotal miscommunication on both parts. May 10, at am Reply. I agree - total wariness on my part with him from now on. May 26, at pm Reply.
Reply To: The polite brush offis it as it seemed? Your information: Name required : Mail will not be published required : Website:. On the other hand, I don't think we would make a good 'fit' and it appears the chemistry isn't right for us to embark on a relationship What do you think?
What would you say? Originally Posted by WaltHowe.
Thank you. Nobody is perfect so everybody we meet will always have a few rough spots and a few good and compatible qualities. We'll never get anywhere beyond casual serial dating if we keep thinking negatively. This is just my opinion.
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But what I hear on here and in real life, everyone is looking at too much TV and thinking that they have to have the perfect person. People are setting their expectations of what they want in a person that is unrealistic. Alot of the men want a hottie that looks like Carmen Electra and the women want a Brad Pitt.
Get real, people. Carmen Electra and Brad Pitt look nothing like they do in real life. Also all those models are airbrushed and half do not have good bodies. Then this attitude that we see on reality TV and people adopt that type of personality. Someone on here says her friends act like the women on "Sex in the City" and these women are in their 30's. Come on, people, what's wrong with you! Guys get mad in here if we talk about rating people from 1 to 10 and they don't understand why they can't date a 10 and they're a 4.
That's life, it's always been like that. Just like I can't realistically date Brad Pitt in my dreams, though. So I think if people were more kinder, realistic and honest with themselves, most people on here and in life would be able to find mates. Well, the woman not returning a call after one date WAS somewhat of a graceful brush off. After all, nobody knows except the caller and callee. Why does everything have to be a conversation?
Originally Posted by Big-Bad-John. All this crap just scares me and makes me want to be by myself all the more. I can't tell when they are playing games anymore and don't trust my judgment. I'm a certified idiot and embarrassed as hell for making the wrong moves.
Last edited by MattB4; at AM. Reason: Edited to add the likely scenario. I don't see why people complicate matters that really are simple. You want to be polite in telling someone you're not into them?
It's not rocket science. Why can't you just say: "You're a great person, but I'm not ready for a relationship and you're not right for me. But you'll make someone else very happy. Best of luck to you.
May 26, I am looking for advice on one specific thing - when he gave me what I thought was a polite brush off (ending it) was I right or did I read too much into it? The scenario: We had been dating and it was intimate. He said I was beautiful, interesting, amazing. He was beguiled. He owns a company which he intends to float.
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