Apologise, dating sikh apologise, but, opinion
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Having read everyone's comments it comes across girls are only being blamed for not considering men that wears pugs when it comes to dating or marriage. I beg to differ. I belong to a Sikh family and no men in my family wears Pugh or has dhari. When dating I never differentiated, as it was more important to me that I find a partner who is honest and genuine. Everytime I got introduced to a guy with a turban, he always felt the need to confirm if I was aware he's not clean shaven- to me that's already him feeling inferior even though I had no issues.
Whilst engaged to a guy from a Pugh family I was constantly looked down, reminded of that I didn't come from one, to a point that I was asked to get the men in my family to keep kesh. This was just so that they can show off in the society that they got a girl from a similar background and to more so to keep them happy.
Eventually the wedding got called off due to the differences. Not all the girls are the same- we shouldn't go around painting them with the same brush. If we can accept you regardless of what image you have, we should also equally be accepted regardless of which family we come from. It's an interesting one. In most cases the first time people outside the community meet a sardar some freak out but as you get to know them the perception changes, they are wonderful people and its our job as individuals to make it so.
Somewhere along the line, the perception of turbaned sikhs with beards in the community has been made where people think Singhs are xyz which we know is not necessarily true but based on ones interaction with sikhs before may have influenced their thoughts.
When I was in high school there was a lot of talks about SP, fundamental Singhs etc where a lot of people did think that turbaned sikhs with beards are hardcore religious people, which for a lot of people in that age group was a negative. Now this same generation has grown up and looking to get married but many still hold on to this experience which makes them think sardars may be hardcore and very religious. Do girls feel they have to be a certain way if they hook up with a Singh?
Obviously not all but many do even though they won't admit this. When it comes to the question of trim Singhs, some girls feel that these guys are more modern, chilled, not so religious and feel they can be themselves and hence opt for this option. Outside the community it is common to be clean shaven, its portrayed as the "IN" thingjust look at commercials and the shows that come on etc.
The time we are in at the moment is so much about "Looking good" or projecting this image.
In mainstream media, turbans and beards are not the "IN" thing it will be one day again like it once was when the Khalsa came about, but not yet.
We do look good, but its early and at the moment we look different, its un-familiar so its uncertain. Think about the association game, what does a turban or even a bearded man mean to people generally, its not mainstream and hence very early. We shouldn't be upset and should not think that the fate of the community depends all on one guy who came on a TV dating show. There is always a benefit in something that is seen as a negative and a drawback in something that is seen as positive.
If not we need more exposure in many different ways so that the turban and beard becomes familiar and eventually trusted. But for this to happen it has come into the public eye.
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However, a big part of this also depends on the individual and his own self image. Most people bring forth their own insecurities and feel more for themselves then the other person. Something inside makes them think that they will be the ones that will get picked on or be seen in a different way.
But it has to be realised that what you think about you bring about and what you think and feel is what you manifest in your reality. People have preferences, but whats more powerful is if people can see how these were formed in the first place. Once they understand this then what they see will be seen in a totally different light. Its up to turbaned and bearded sikhs to make sure they can integrate, be a part of the community, and been seen for who they are and not what they look like.
But all this will come with time, education and exposure to the mainstream.
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In once sense its is a trend, its just not in at the moment. When this false perception is broken it will open up a lot of doors, but until then we have to solider on and contribute and make way for what's yet to come and be part of the process like many others before us. Build relationships with people. Even with potential partners. Leave all people inspired and make sure they see you and not something fake. Trust this process and with this approach anyone can like you.
Interestingly, the Sikh's appearance and behavior on that show was criticized by many Sikhs for being "unbecoming" of someone with a turban and beard. So, while some might consider such a person unattractive for wearing these articles, there are also competing expectations applied around how one will vs.
I would just like to reiterate that a turban is not an indicator of the wearer's morals, purity, honour or attractiveness. The World Sikh Organization has proven this fact. Alternatively, a lack of a turban also does not indicate the absense of these characterstics"Imagine there's no heaven It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people living for today.
Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the people living life in peace" -Jon Lennon. This will and always has been a hot topic. Twenty out of the thirty women turned their lights off when Param stepped out, while it is a possiblity this might have occurred because of his turban and beard; clean shaven men have gone through similar rejection because of appearance.
As Jatinder mentioned, we're in a time where it's important to "look good" and currently beards and turbans are not what many perceive as "looking good". This isn't true in all cases though, we can't make a generalization about all women. Having also been brought up in a western culture and not having much interest in pursuing Sikhi, my parents very much coerced us into keeping our hair, doing paat, going to punjabi school as any Sikh parent should do.
And then at a certain point in my life I was the young rebellious girl with cut hair who lived among a father, a mother, and brothers who had uncut hair. Developing in a family with men who wear turbans vs. In my situation, my siblings and I always argued with our parents to allow us to cut our hair, we had no purpose in keeping it.
Now many may think since I myself wanted to trim my hair that I must want to only date someone who is also clean shaven. I made the decision of cutting my hair not because I wanted to impress others but for mere fact that I did. Throughout the years I also came to understand my brothers perspective.
As stated above many perceive bearded men with turbans as extremely religious, but raised with the brothers I had, I know not everybody is.
Someone who is clean shaven can transpire to be considerably religious than someone who isn't. All I know is that I have met and seen many attractive men who wear turbans and carry a full beard.
I do not believe facial hair is gross, unattractive, or unclean, unless you make it appear that way. I also commend all of the women who don't see that as a barrier to start a relationship. One thing that always annoys me is that whenever somebody posts a topic like this, suddenly all the anonymous internet girls come flooding with responses like "no way! As a Sikh with a Turban and beard granted it is trimme I can tell you from first-hand experience that women, both sikh and non-sikh, will be attracted to you.
Of course, this isn't to say that every girl will fall in love with you at first sight, but it does mean that if you have the confidence then there is no reason why you shouldn't be successful at finding a partner. I've been rejected before because of my Turban, but I've also been showered with compliments for it. I think a lot of the problem comes from wearing a patka as a child and growing up in an environment where your confidence is attacked.
If you are confident in your appearance and aren't afraid of the rejection that ALL men will face sikh, non-sikh, turban, beard, and clean-shave alikeI assure you that you will have success at some level. Discrimination is constant in all cts of relationships for Sikhs and non-sikhs alike. The following is not meant to take away from personal experiences of others, we are all different. In my experience being a Sardar with complete kesh carries with it all the power in the world to be first and foremost attractive in your confidence and chased and sought out by real and imaginary people.
I do not speak of crass Punjabi machismo, rather a calm self confidence and valour rooted in Sikh values. The moment someone is not interested or removes an opportunity, it is their loss and they are not deserving. It accelerates my ability to find an abundance of amazing gorgeous people in all cts of life, from all walks of life. I am not seeking relationship with a partner, but there never has been any shortage of all types of relationships with amazing people directly as a result of my dastar and dhari including the most amazing person in my life.
With respect to seeking a partner, in my experience there are so many sardars who attract a great deal of interest and respectful friendships with women from varied backgrounds. This is not a complicated issue.
Apr 09, Finding Love as an LGBT Sikh. While talking to a good friend of mine last night, he put the Punjabi dating scene into perspective for me - after narrowing down the dating pool on the basis of religion, culture, location and/or whatever other factors matter to you, you basically have such a small population that you will eventually end up. Yes, wearing a turban and keeping your kesh is a huge barrier when it comes to dating within the Sikh community. Right off the bat, 99of Sikh women will not be open to talking to you in the context of dating or exploring a relationship.
One looks to date the kind of person that shares similar kinds of values and goals as oneself. The real solution to all this is our community developing an open mind to dating, which would make it easier for Sikh men and women to find people with similar values whether they keep their kesh, turban, etc.
With the next generation of Sikh children in the West, I don't see this as being a real issue in the long run, because the environment will be a lot different as our generation people currently in the 20's and early 30's will most likely as a whole be a lot more open to their children dating other Sikh children granted we'll probably have different rules about how to go about it.
A Sikh guy with a turban going on a western dating show speaks volumes more about his own internal conflict about what he desires versus anything about it being hard to find someone who is a Sikh to date. I also saw a Twitter ate from Naujawani. If something hinders your progress in an ct of life that you care about i. How you can blame those girls from whichever background who do not want a Khuli Dari person as a life partner when growing hair is not supported by even G Granth Sahib!?
Why link Sikhi with unshorn hair and other "articles of faith"? In my opinion, this ultra-conservative thinking that only a 'full-version' Khalsa can be a Sikh need to be debated as it has not only disfranchised millions of the so-called sehajdharis Sindhi Hindus alone are in millions but has also given us generations of Sikh youth growing up with inferiority complex.
As far as preference for Keshdhari Sikh is concerned, just check the matrimonial advertisements in Indian papers or even online and you would get a good understanding of the Sikh girls and boys too aspirations. Vast majority of these adverts want "clean-shaven" partners. I have become more and more interested in Sikhism for myself too - the more I learn about it, the more it appeals to me.
So I don't have any negative opinion of a guy having a beard and turban. A guy who wears it might or might not be attractive, it depends on the guy.
But for me what is kind of frustrating and even heartbreaking is that usually no matter how well we get along and how well the relationship is going, they want to keep me a secret from friends and family or break up 'before it gets too serious' because of criticism and social pressure to preserve their culture and date within their community.
My white friends who have dated Arab guys have had similar experiences. A lot of cultures are like this, especially I think, when people are living ex-Pat outside of their homeland and are trying to keep their culture alive. I'm sure a Sikh guy doesn't want to be thought of in a negative way for keeping Kesh and tying turban and non-Sikhs girls don't want to be thought of as disposable for casual fun.
It has made me really cautious about investing any real feelings or time and energy into any more of these relationships. And I think even if I had a good relationship with a Sikh guy and he wanted to get serious, if I really did care about him, I would hate to be the source of conflict between him and his family and friends.
So I think there are barriers on both sides. Even if the number of mixed culture couples is small, if they could gain more acceptance it would help pave the way for more couples and make the sides more familiar with each other. The problem that I perceive with the Sikh community is the skewed balance between the two genders and Sikhi.
This leads to friction in the Sikh community and the importance of the males hair over the females. Guru Ji gave us Sikhs an identity, so that society could distinguish a Sikh from a non-Sikh.
The majority of SIkh females have haircuts and very few are expected to keep their hair and wear a dastar, they have more of a choice with their hair. If you ever meet a Sikh girl that wears a dastar, it is often by her own personal choice than her parents or the communities pressure. The problem is we are not giving our Sikh males the choice that the females have. We are being selfish.
Sikh Dating Use of online dating sites has become the latest trend among the youths of different communities across the world, and thousands of singles looking . Looking for Sikh Dating For Free singles? ?? Sikh dating is unforgettable with marionfoaleyarn.com ??More than users.??. Mar 07, In conclusion, many Sikh youth have been disbanding their traditions due to self-confidence issues. These issues arise from a bad experience with the dating process, as well as the lack of a western fatherly figure. As long as a Sikh has certain innate qualities, he truly does not have a problem with women.
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