Opinion you dating after menopause seems me, what
Posted in Dating
One of the first things I noticed when I started dating after the storm caused by my menopause, was that my patience had suddenly gone. I mean seriously, I am able to become overemotional very quickly now, as I need to let go of every emotion that I feel, so every thought just comes straight out of my mouth. There is no rationalization. Now I have to say it. Even the little things. The beginning of my menopause was the hardest bit. It was likeI was possessed by another person.
Give Us YourFeedback. Lack of a partner. For instance, among Americans age 65 or above, there are only 7 men for every 10 women. This is largely because of the 5-year difference in the average life span of women 80 years and men 75 years in the United States. High divorce rates in recent decades have also raised the chances that women and men, for that matter will be unattached at midlife and beyond. Others may feel self-conscious about being naked with someone new.
Relationship challenges. I fell like a loser, I feel ugly, I see other younger women as little witches that want all of my husbands attention. Of course he likes to look at a beautiful woman! What man doesn't? But what enters my mind is, who else, of course? Oh look at her, he likes that, I don't look like that any more, he wants that and not me!
Menopause and You: Sexual Function After Menopause
Has he said that? That's just what this 50 year old brain thinks! This is the root of so many of the difficulties we are facing at this very moment. My insecurities about myself have grown into this monster who is taking huge bites out of my marriage and soon there will be nothing left! What makes it worse is there is NO reason for my insecurities!
He never makes comments or puts me down when he looks at another woman.
WTH is wrong with me? Why do I feel so awful? Why do I see my body, that certainly has so many minor flaws but none worse than so many people with disabilities or scars as a big ugly wrinkly, stretch- markey, varicose veiny, too skinny mess? I can't seem to accept this whole 50 thing! Bless my husband for putting up with my craziness. The threat of divorce has come into play and as I sit here tonight, alone, once again after another argument with my husband, I wonder how much more either of us can take.
I know we are on the edge. Which by the way, it's back to the Dr. I sense your pain and hurt and just want to encourage you. Focusing on our circumstances i. Bruce Hebel from Forgiving Forward has helped my wife and I as we traverse through circumstances not unlike the ones you describe. I was hopeless and ready to give up until I was able to see my own faults, flaws, and imperfections instead of focusing on my wife's imperfections.
I can now focus on bettering myself and loving her where she is with no expectations of her. We still have ground to cover but there is now hope. Be encouraged and don't give up. Marriage is sacred and it is worth fighting for no matter what changes we experience or go through.
Forgive yourself, forgive your husband, and forgive God. Don't give up; don't quit! You are not crazy I could have written exactly what you wrote This is by far the most challenging part of my life and wonder when all this will end?
So many have told me menopause can last ten years! On top of all that I also am experiencing empty nest syndrome since my only child graduated college and moved miles away Exercise has saved the small slice of sanity I have left So glad I got on this site was therapeutic and cathartic to read that my wife of 23 years is not the only one that is going thru this.
I'll set the stage: married since '92, 4 daughters 20,17,15,12she a stay at home mom, I have a career. I am 55, she is I feel so fortunate, I have great health, am reasonably successful however, with 4 girls, you can NEVER make enoughfeel good about myself, have balance, and hope it all continues. NO energy, has gained weight, depressed, constantly tired, has had trouble sleepinghas shut off from all her friends, has no social outletsdoesn't want to see people -anyone ever lived with a 51 year old shut in?
Over these last 3 years I have wondered if I have just enabled all this, not forced her hand, made her take constructive steps, and so on. However, in understanding that menopause can truly be a game changer, I have stayed true to her, and we continue. I will say things have started to get better; I took her to a biomedical hormone doctor over a year ago, and that has helped. We have gotten on a healthy diet wasn't that bad to begin with, but knocked out most carbs and sugarand that also has helped.
As you would suspect, there is no sex life, no romance. Because her self esteem is so low, she's hard pressed to want to go to a movie, out to eat, anything. You don't have to be the hottest chick in the stadium, just have a good twinkle in your eye now and again, and I am all over it. Being older is in your mind much more than ours I can tell you that I am NOT interested in being with someone 15 - 20 years my junior.
I've been raising 4 girls already, I don't need a 5th At any rate, reading about what some of you are going thru lines up so much with what we have here. Flowers can't hurt. Make her feel special and loved and this will cheer her up. I am Michael your wife sounds a lot like me. It's not you or her, it's the hormones. I've commented on another post but it's like we are Eddie Brock and our alter ego hormones are Venom. It's awful. Continue to be actively loving her and letting her know about it.
Sounds like you both are trying which is really good, but when one might not be, the other should pick up the slack. Not sure if you are a praying guy but if you are pray like your life depends on it because it does!!! I'm so sorry you're having this much trouble. I am 55 and just began menopausal symptoms in Dec I began to dislike my husband very much because of his anger, which has been an issue for us. We can't drive anywhere together because of his anger.
Strangely enough, because of a visit to a wellness doctor, I began using progesterone cream which didn't work out too well for me, but is working out very well for him. He has a high PSA and is concerned about cancer.
May 15, One of the first things I noticed when I started dating after the storm caused by my menopause, was that my patience had suddenly gone. I mean seriously, I am able to become overemotional very quickly now, as I need to let go of every emotion that I feel, so every thought just comes straight out of my mouth. Oct 10, But the truth is, sex after menopause can be better than it ever was. Aging, Dating Over 50 Sex After Menopause: Why Sex Is Better Now Than It Ever Was. asdnmaipn-October 10, Why Sex After Menopause Is Better. There's a common misconception about sex after menopause. Many people think that women's libido diminishes, or that sex.
We were told that progesterone can protect against certain cancers including prostate. My husband is using it daily and what a change in him!!! He is so much more compassionate and attentive to me. I wonder what he did with my husband. This has been a saving grace for our marriage.
How menopause affects your dating life "These symptoms can interfere [with your dating life] on two levels," explains Elizabeth Lyster, M.D., a board-certified OB/GYN and author of Dr. Liz's Easy Guide to Menopause: 5 Simple Steps to Balancing Your Hormones and Feeling like Yourself Again. "First is the obvious [level]: being tired and. Apr 15, Why life begins after the menopause: 'I left my husband and found a toyboy' Save Rebecca Perkins left her husband and then joined the dating website, Toyboy Warehouse Credit: Saskia Nelson/Hey. Communicate, support each other's needs, get counseling if needed, add romance, adjust lovemaking activities, and your odds increase that your marriage will survive menopause. Being on the same team will nourish a healthy, loving relationship that can last a lifetime. Life is constantly changing, and marriage is no different. Have real.
Just wanted to share. You are not crazy. I noticed that my self-esteem has plummeted as well. I feel so insecure about everything since menopause. His change has really helped me in this way. You should read about it.
Michael Platt, MD wrote a book called "The Miracle of Bio-identical Hormones" that didn't really help me, but helped my husband's personality. Who knew? I hope you can get to a better place in your marriage and feel pretty again. It's so important for us women. I wish you the very best in health and wellness. Wow, I could have written all of this myself. My insecurities have rocketed beyond all control and I just cannot shed the anxiety that he is going to go.
I feel like two people, the rational and normal one who knows he is just doing what men do, and what I do when I want to, which is notice younger good looking members of the opposite sex. But if he does it I hit the wall, and the evil alter ego hits out and lashes out and brings up every wrong doing from our 30 years together.
I'm not sure our marriage is going to last, I'm really not. Just want to let you know that your not alone,I also have horrible mood swings, I adore this man,my husband,but in the heat of the mood swings I fucking hate him and it's fault for everything,I won't listen,and now with my adult children, I hope my family survives this horrible shit, whistle I was the girl I used to be.
My wife of 28 years just served me with divorce papers,she is just turning 50 for about the last 3 years since she started with the symptoms of menopause things have changed sexually she battled thru depression,her father passed her dog got killed six months later. I didnt know the right words to say to her I couldnt help her like I should have but during that time things were busy we have 3 sons 26,24,20 the youngest is the only one left in school.
I started going to counseling about a year ago but never thought to bring these things up. Now im devastated she is my soulmate,I want to go to marriage counsel with her but I cant get her to go I want to save my marriage get thru menopause what can I do?
I'm so sorry. It's been a long time since your post, but if you still love her, just keep loving her. I nearly screamed, "I want a divorce," to my husband last night for basically standing too close to me.
I managed to keep quiet, but spent the evening in a rage. Have you ever seen the Love Dare? Corny movie, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work. Gavin MacLeod's story is also inspiring to me.
Even though he left his wife, she kept loving him and when he decided to come back, they remarried and are still together. We've been married almost 18 years.
Im 47 and my wife is 49 and will be 50 in March of We have a 16 year old son. My wife over the last few weeks has shown symptoms similar to what is described here but when I attempted to talk to her about it she insisted it's not due to menopause. We have struggled financially mainly because of meshe lost her mom suddenly to cancer inher dad in a family dog unexpectedly in and another family dog expectedly in April of this year.
I have always been there for her and have always thought everything is solid between us even during these times. She says she has been feeling this way for a while: tired of being the caregiver as wife and mother, tired of being the one to make sure everything and everyone is happy, tired of letting things go and not speaking her mind and tired of having sex because my drive is greater than hers.
All the things that I love about her. As a husband and father, is there any way to know for sure this is not something deeper than menopause? She is seeking counseling without me her decision because she says she needs to talk to someone professionally and who is non biased to help her through what she is experiencing. I feel left out and pushed away. I try to be supportive and understanding but fear this is truly deeper than just menopause.
Sep 07, After menopause, low estrogen levels can cause your vaginal walls to become thin, dry, and inflamed. That often leads to bleeding after sex. Cancer: Bleeding is the most common symptom of. Menopause is a time when women experience considerable hormonal changes which result in symptoms such as hot flushes, mood swings and sexual problems. While these symptoms are natural, they can cause significant distress for menopausal women and their partners, and can disrupt the couple's sex life. Not having a sexual partner may be the most basic of sexual challenges, but it's one that's pretty common for women at midlife and beyond. For instance, among Americans age 65 or above, there are only 7 men for every 10 women. This is largely because of the 5-year difference in the average life span of women (80 years) and men (75 years) in.
Is it "normal" for me to feel this way? My wife of 32 years had breast cancer and a double mastectomy. She had a complete hysterectomy because the breast cancer she had was estrogen fed.
In addition to that she is taking a estrogen blocker medication. So she has no hormones. Since this she has changed into a bitter spouse became historical about all the spats we have had over the 32 year marriage.
She took no responsibility for past marriage issues and takes no responsibility treating me like a piece of furniture. It's been several years since we had sex. We have 3 kids that have all gotten their college degree and a 10 year old.
I still love her and would like to fix this, but she blocks me out of her life. She even sleeps in a separate bedroom. A doctor friend of mine told me that she probably needs to be on Prozac or something similar but she doesn't think she has a problem so she would never consider a medication. In her mind all our marriage problems were my fault! I'm lost and confused wondering if I should file for legal separation or hang around and hope for the best. We both are going to the same counselor and we both like him, but she blames me for all our problems.
Our marriage was not great prior to cancer and hysterectomy but now it's terrible. Any insight any of you may have, I would appreciate. My menopause has ruined my entire life. I am so depressed and ashamed of what I have morphed into that killing myself is a joke.
I say to friends and family who are shocked as to what it has debilitated me into" Don't worry about me killing myself cause i won't be happy with doing that just once. I tell them I need to kill myself 's of times to happy, so they are all just stuck with this mass of pure junk!!!! I have lost my husband to another woman 10 plus years younger, lost all his children as they have checked out, his friends and family think I'm just a mooch and are elated that he is out with another younger woman to match their younger wives.
I have been fired from my job, have a mortgage, and am selling everything but the kitchen sink to survive. Plus, I'm trying to get another job in this sickened state. I even have men after me and I try to make it work but I literally begin to hate them for needing me when I need them and mostly I need my old life back.
I cry each day, and wish I could sleep till it's all over. I am going to seek a doctor of vitamins, pray she has some estrogen to help me be myself, and hope to make it thru an exercise class as my body hurts everywhere. I never thought I could hate myself more than everyone else but I do!!!! It just saddens me, I am totally and completely L.
Doctors need to really help women this way, we are dying off like this and many haven't the financial resources I have to make my life better.
I will be using all!!!! If I don't get fixed, I'm checking into a roach motel and not checking out!!!! Hi I'm only 34 yrs old have been married for almost 6 yrs and just recently found out that my hormone levels are low and I'm starting the stages of premenopausal I'm still confused on it all and can't talk to my husband cause he thinks that I have control over the way I'm feeling and our sex life is not great and he keeps telling me he is mad at me and it's all my fault that I can't give him what he needs I love him but I need to feel loved in this crazy time of my life un sure what to do I need him to understand or I think our marriage will die.
I married the love of my life inwhen I was starting perimenopause.
Dating and Menopause
I still had a strong libido, but eventually was unable to achieve that release; haven't had that for several years. I've just given up on it after so many attempts to get there. But losing this pleasure is nothing compared to what's happening to me recently. I have turned into a woman I don't recognize - bitter, angry, irritated at every nuance or comment my husband makes, very sad with lots of crying, and every previously somewhat manageable issue has turned into a series of huge landmines that can explode for hardly any reason at all.
It's good to read that a high-protein diet with low carb intake and working out at the gym my husband CRAVES that I do this, as he's super into it may help. I would LOVE to lose the weight that's piled on since about I do crave carbs all the time. I've been a lifelong sufferer of severe insomnia and am hypothyroid as well.
I try to spend time at the start of every day in my Bible and prayer. This seemed to be really giving me hope until my hormones went wild and I spent those precious morning times sobbing uncontrollably. I know I'm killing my husband's affection and love for me and I feel like I can't stop myself from being this irritable hag! I've been on Prempro lowest dose since about ; when I try to get down to 2 a week or so, I morph into this monster.
I ramped Prempro up to 7 nights a week again and am having some light bleeding and major skin breakouts. I KNOW this is mostly hormonal, and I have a new doctor who prescribes bioidenticals, but I was on testosterone and estradiol in - the testosterone was literally causing my chest to grow hair follicles, and I was experiencing crazy prickly heat-type rashes that were frightening.
When I stopped the testosterone, these symptoms eventually went away. Anyway, thanks for being here and sharing It's hard facing the fact that your beauty has faded, you've gotten "chubby", your head and eyebrow hair is vastly diminished I'm seeing a MFT counselor, just started yesterday - and I hope she can help me get myself back. God is in control, I know He is. But I am feeling very out of control of my life, which has always been too dramatic and painful anyway. I was hoping to head into these older years with a good attitude.
I do feel for the guys who don't know how to deal with the women in their lives who are undergoing this stage. Thanks for being here. Also, the past 2 summers here in California have been tortuously HOT, but I've always managed to tolerate hot weather. I put makeup on with a fan blowing onto my face, but my makeup melts off. I've taken about 4 cold water showers a day, even with the CA drought going on and I'm trying to conserve water.
I wonder if anyone here has encountered this? Take charge of your health. Healthy Aging. Share on:. Comments Theresa Tolth not verified Wed, Permalink. Darlene not verified Mon, Permalink. Theresa Tolth not verified Wed, Permalink. Guest not verified Mon, Permalink. Guest not verified Tue, Permalink. Rootsgal not verified Sun, Permalink.
SomeGuy not verified Mon, Permalink. I've asked my wife plenty of times if she would cuddle with me, and she refused almost every time. The last time I asked, she said no, then changed her mind, but I refused.
I don't even bother to ask anymore. I don't bother asking if she wants to make love, either. She doesn't know it yet, but our marriage is over. I've waited so long for her to come around, and simply got tired of being rejected. Now, even if she wanted to make love, I'd probably reject her.
I feel now as if we're just friends. For the longest time, I wanted things to change. Now, I've simply lost interest. We're going through a rough patch now with some financial issues.
Once that is over, I'll probably leave her. I've invested myself in her for 26 years, and now she treats me like some guy who happens to be there.
I'm tired of it. Men need to know that they are loved, too. I know many other men who are having, or have had, the same troubles. The thing is, we're human beings, too, and we have needs.
Dating after menopause
A healthy sex life is important to our health. VERY important. Once that's gone, well, we might also be gone. Sorry about your husband, as he sounds like he's out of touch with you, anyway. However, I wouldn't discount the possibility that he's gone through the same thing I have, and he simply has lost interest in you.
Whatever happens to you, happens also to him. Thinking it's all about you doesn't help anything, and unfortunately, my wife, and most women, seem, to be self-centered about these changes. Ignoring your significant other will cause him to do the same, eventually, and it sounds like this may be the case with you.
Being confident, self-assured, and loving yourself are important steps to leading a happy life and having healthy romantic relationships. What better way to boost your confidence than to take time every day to improve your body and mind?
Exercising, eating right, and stress-relieving activities will all make you feel better about yourself. If you are not meeting new people, it will be impossible to find someone with whom you want to take a chance. If you want to meet people, including a potential romantic partner, try joining a health club, regularly going out with friends, and volunteering. Above all, do something you lovewhich will make you likely to meet other people who love the same thing.
It's true - you're not the same person you once were. So what? Change is inevitable. The only thing you can do is accept the changes and embrace the new you. If a man wants to force you to be something you are not, then it is best to move on. A diminished sex drive can be one of the biggest drags of dating during menopause. Try activities that will reignite the flame.
Take time to create a romantic atmosphere while dating.
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