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Ghosting, orbiting, Draking yes, like the rapper are new digital-age relationship phrases redefining how we fall in and out of love. We long for the days of a good old-fashioned, in-person dumping, but social media and smartphones have changed the way we court. Ghosting is the act of abruptly - and seemingly without reason - stopping all communication within a romantic relationship that has built momentum. The ghoster withdraws, ignoring the other person and ceasing all contact. Some psychologists believe ghosting is a form of emotional cruelty and deepens feelings of abandonment and desertion.
The final term so far in the ghosting category, a zombie is someone who ghosted and waits for a long period of time until the other person in the old relationship has moved on, only to come back to life and try to reengage a connection. The zombie will appear as sweet and emotionally available as they once were, but are only, for this purpose, the reanimated dead.
Increasingly, pure ghosting has taken a backseat to orbiting, the act of stopping direct communication and engagement but continuing to monitor your social media presence. The New York Times says the term was coined by Anna Iovine in an article for Man Repeller in which she explained the prominent situation of an ex or past romantic interest watching your social media, or orbiting you without making contact.
As they do with ghosting, professionals assert that orbiting is unhealthy for both parties. There are entire articles and social media accounts dedicated to Drake Looking Sad. In relationship terms, Draking is the act of being depressed and moaning about a past relationship. Draking is largely specific to men who have experienced turmoil with a love interest and are emotionally Drake-d from it, continuing to miss their ex-flame.
In other words, to breadcrumb is to string someone along without the intent to consider a real relationship. Cushioning is a precautionary exchange between two people when one is in a relationship and the other is not.
With some minimal underlying flirtation, both people remain in contact in the event that the person in the relationship breaks up and the other will be there to cushion the fall. When a player is on the bench, they are eager to be called up to play.
In modern relationships, benching is keeping a romantic interest on the back burner, feeding them the promise of one day starting them or at least giving them some play time. Benching can occur when one person is ready for a relationship and the other is not, but does not want to end things entirely.
Benching usually involves some breadcrumbing. When two people enter a form of a romantic relationship due to their circumstances or situations, as opposed to whole-hearted interest in each other as individuals, you have a situationship. A situationship can arise due to living proximity, the season, and effort or lack thereof. A situationship by nature has an expiration date that aligns with the end of your situation.
We've compiled a complete guide of all the dating terms floating around, and what you can do when one happens to you. Ghosting. This is the OG modern dating term that refers to someone you're dating, seeing, talking to, etc. disappears without a trace. They don't break up with you, they just stop responding one day, leading you to assume they Author: Kristin Salaky. Dating Top 20 Dating Terms you need to know now from the Date/able Podcast. From the classics to Date/able originals, we got you covered: Fluffer. The unfortunate person who prepares people for actual relationships, but doesn't end up in a relationship him/herself.
Cuffingfor instance, can lead to a situationship. If ghosting is a relationship guillotine, the slow fade is dating death by poison. Despite being drawn out over time, the slow fade is a move that involves one member of the relationship pulling back and removing themselves with intentional slowness so as to slip away without a sudden, jarring exit.
Of course, you will never know which one is which, because they don't the courtesy to just tell you how they feel. The alternative term for this breakdown of basic courtesy is "haunting. Similar to breadcrumbing, benching involves stringing someone along just enough to keep you around as an option. The way that breadcrumbing is different from benching is that the former is crueler because the victim doesn't know if you're just being a little flaky or if you're just not that interested.
With benching, it's more clear that the bencher is pursuing other avenues and just putting you on the bench in case one of their main players gets called off the field. You meet someone you really like, but they are already in a relationship. The way they flirt with you via text makes it seem like they are interested, but they make no indication that they're planning on leaving their current partner.
This is cushioning, aka the act of keeping the seat warm in case they want to use it somewhere down the line.
You're dating someone, and you feel like it's going well. But you notice that they don't feature you in any of their social media, or detag themselves from posts you put up.
This is the modern version of getting weird when you ask to meet your partner's parents. The person you're with is into you, but they aren't sure they want to close the door on other possibilities, and therefore "stash you" as one would with a basket of dirty laundry, in the closet. An extremely insulting and mildly sexist it is almost always used by men to refer to women term for the period between early fall and late winter when people are more likely to date someone regularly just to have a warm body nearby.
Because god knows that being in an intimate relationship with regular sexual activity is akin to being chained to the ground. Someone let Prometheus know he got off easy.
9 terms that define modern dating
Getting curved is a little easier to bear than a flat-out rejection. It's when someone turns down your advances but doesn't do it in a direct way. A great example is when Drake tried to kiss Rihanna on stage at the VMAs award and she literally curved to give him the cheek.
While curving is somewhat nicer than a lot of other items on this list, it's still often used as a way of keeping an option open even if you're not really that interested. Noticing a trend here?
This is when one person has all of the power in an exchange.
Someone who will text you but fail to respond when you text back. Someone who will never make plans to see you but expect you to drop everything and come over when they happen to have an afternoon free. As the name implies, this is not a two way street. It's a firedoor. You can get out but you can't get back in. You'll see this one come up on threads a lot.
It stands for "involuntarily celibate" and is usually used as a term of identity by people who feel entitled to sex but can't get any.
What Is Ghosting, Benching & Breadcrumbing?
These people suck and, more often than not, are actually dangerous. We've all heard of catfishing, in which someone pretends to be someone they're not in order to catch a potential mate.
In "kittenfishing," however, someone isn't exorbitantly lying in their online dating profile, they're just stretching the truth. The most basic version of this involves posting old or heavily altered photos, or lying about weight or height, so that the person who walks into the bar only vaguely resembles the person you matched with. But it could also involve saying that you're a "doctor" when you're really in Pre-Med. If someone says they are "pansexual," it mean that they are attracted to someone regardless of their gender.
To learn more about how that differs from being bisexual, check out our helpful guide on what it mean to be pansexual. Being "poly," as it's known for short, means you can be in a relationship while enjoying relationships with other people. The key here is communication and honesty yay, finally! It's been around in some form as far back as ancient Rome, but it's experiencing a resurgence in popularity.
To find out more about its terms, you can read what this pansexual, polyamorous man had to say about it.
Unlike the other terms on this list, there's nothing wrong about being pansexual or polyamorous as long as the person communicates that to you, but not everyone knows what they mean so they are handy terms to know.
If you find out your partner hasn't cheated on you but has been casually looking for someone else on the side, then shifts the blame by saying they didn't realize you were monogamous, they are roaching. As the term implies, this is not a nice thing to do. Traditionally, a date is seen as an interview for sex.
Mar 01, In an age of dating apps, read receipts and socially acceptable stalking, a whole new confusing lingo has emerged. Most people are familiar with terms like ghosting (when you casually ignore. Dec 20, Dating / Move. Pronunciation: KUSH-on-ing As above, cushioning is the process of staying in contact with one or more romantic prospects as a backup in case things don't go smoothly with your main Author: Alex Manley. May 07, The final term (so far) in the ghosting category, a zombie is someone who ghosted and waits for a long period of time until the other person in the old relationship has moved on, only to come back.
But, increasingly, some millennials are using sex as a determiner of whether or not they'd even want to bother getting to know the person in the first place.
This is a "sex interview," and while it has some logic to it, it is, at the very least, unromantic.
Ghosting and other dating terms
Circling back to the fact that everyone these days is wildly commitment-phobic, a "situationship" is a sexual relationship that stops short of being a committed relationship. You're together but you're not together together. You're in a situation. This is the act of taking a condom off during sex without even letting your partner know you've done it. In addition to being emotionally traumatizing, this is straight up sexual assault.
This is when someone breaks up with you or ghosts you and then just pops back into your life after a lengthy silence as though nothing had happened. Torpedo that thing.