For that dating 2 years and no proposal does not
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I was sure he was the one, I felt ready, and I knew he loved me back, so why not move ahead? Meanwhile, my husband was enjoying our dating relationship, felt no urge to get married right then, and only looked at me blankly when I tried to describe my feelings about the situation. Without even really realizing it, I responded with pressure. My pressure project had backfired. Instead of convincing him to get married, I had only convinced him that I cared more about marriage than about him.
My actual proposal, although planned out to be fun and romantic, was more of a formality by the time it happened because we are communicating about it. If he truly wants to marry you, he should be able to work with you on more specific plans and timeframes, and not just dismiss it as he has been doing, or give good reasoning why he feels a little more time would be appropriate. Job concerns, etc.
My Story! After waiting 10 yrs! He got married to someone else within 5 months!
If he continues to just be dismissive about it, but leave it as a carrot to string you along, I would begin to think he had no intentions of marrying me and was just giving empty promises about it to keep me around.
Ginge McFantaPants. I'm not sure how you can put a "deadline" on getting engaged; if it's going to happen at all, it should happen organically, not because of arbitrary deadline.
Tell him you love him, but you need to move forward or you cannot stay in this relationship. If he is inclined to continue the relationship, he will. If he does propose, tell him you want to set a date right away. If you're engaged more than a month or two without setting a date that you both feel good about, then it's done. People get weird about the idea of what they perceive as an ultimatum. I see this approach as being direct.
You've told him what you feel you need. If he is unable or unwilling to do it, you have your answer. It's better than waiting several months, quietly hoping for a proposal, then leaving if he doesn't surprise you with one.
Originally Posted by Ms.
Feb 02, We've been dating for 4 1/2 years, we've lived together for about 1 1/2 years. He says he wants to marry me, but he still hasn't proposed. I'm just trying to .
Yes, you two need to sit down and have a conversation about the future and find out whether your interests, plans, and expectations align.
In my experience, a man who wants to get married will push things along, not drag his feet. At this point, even if he reluctantly proposes to you, your feelings about him will forever be tainted by the fact that in three years, he didn't want you enough to marry you.
Trust me on this. I was with my first husband for 4 years before he reluctantly proposed. We were married for 9 years after that, and through that entire time, I couldn't get it out of my head that he didn't really want me enough to marry me, he just did it because he was getting pressure from his parents. My second husband proposed to me after we had known each other for a month.
I had no doubt whatsoever that this man wanted me, right now and for good. We've been married for 24 years now, and although we've had the normal ups and downs, I have never had that nagging doubt about whether I was really the one he wanted, or if he just settled or gave in to my nagging.
BTW, for any single women reading this, I would sincerely recommend NOT moving in together if you want to marry the man at some point.
Living together kills the romance-I don't know why, but it does. This sounds like a basic lack of communication. If you don't want to bring up a topic that is obviously extremely important to you, you need to ask yourself why, and you need to find out why he isn't on board with it.
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You are Dating 2 Years No Proposal completely right and your findings are actually supported by scientific research if you want to look Dating 2 Years No Proposal into it further. An average looking middle of the road type of guy is simply not going to get much / Jul 30, No proposal after three years. Not sure what to do (date, wife) User Name: Remember Me: Password Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. If you were dating someone you wanted to marry, how long would you wait for the ring before you started to wonder whether your partner was ever going to propose? the couples in my study decided to marry years after they first showed romantic interest (many couples knew each other before they dated, but that isn't counted). This may.
Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. Search this Thread Advanced Search. Follow City-Data. Twitter :. No proposal after three years. Not sure what to do date, wife. User Name. Remember Me. Advanced Search.
View detailed profile Advanced or search site with. Page 1 of Advertisements Hello, I'd really appreciate advice.
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee 47, posts, read 45, times Reputation: Quote: Originally Posted by moonflower88 Maybe I shouldnt have moved without a proposal, but it's too late for that now. Location: NY 9, posts, read 15, times Reputation: Location: New Yawk 9, posts, read 5, times Reputation: Location: My House 34, posts, read 30, times Reputation: Quote: Originally Posted by Ms.
Mathlete I'm not sure how you can put a "deadline" on getting engaged; if it's going to happen at all, it should happen organically, not because of arbitrary deadline. And every time I fix a reason why he will even say we are committed and will make it through anything not necessarily marriage he makes another reason.
I just want closure and let him go.
Or to be told we got this and move forward. He gets defensive if I wear certain clothes now where as before he was so sweet and charming. Im not accepted on his social media and any little thing sets him off.
How do I ask what he wants without causing anger? He only has said it depends on of we get along. But he gets mad so easily now.
He has no kids but when I offered to pay to have one he chose other things. He is in his late 30s and I just need advice. And yes this Is embarrassing. He knew wk 2 I wanted marriage and kids bc I was up front. He was separated 2 yrs when we met and finally was able to get a divorce last year. We have lived together the whole time since problem 1.
His mom even asked on multiple occasions and he said we were getting married. He promised end of Still no proposal. He promises we are getting married and having children, but still no proposal. I brought it up again tonight after he had worked 12 hrs. I even told him mos ago just get me a fake ring idc you can get me something better down the road.
He talks about the future, but still no proposal. Saying that out loud is so embarrassing!!! I love him so much but love myself more. Well with so many women nowadays that are so very picky and looking for Mr. Perfect which definitely has a lot to do with it today, especially when many women now want men with a lot of money.
I agree with you to a point. But there are also a lot of women out there who have made their money and take care of their own, they want a man who is just as secure. Just saying, a picky woman is one who knows herself and her worth. Nothing wrong with that. This is a really useful post. I have been going through the same thing for 7 years.
Promises that never took place.
Him disappearing on me for weeks. Why on earth would someone non stop tell you to move in with them and at the same time within a couple of days say it was just a thought. Over the years I have changed as a person. Its like I do not care anymore. And I want to leave him, but it is hard. Why didnt he tell me from the beginning he was just fooling around. I mean we are both over Why must I put in all the effort all the time.
Then suddenly he will make a joke about proposing and once again he will say oh it was merely a thought. So now I have resorted telling him I will not move in with him anymore and no marriage as well. He wants to stay single to see others behind my back, then go ahead. Still, I find it hard to walk away.
And in the end women like us are mentally screwed. I have decided once this is done if it is ever going to get there, I do not want to date ever again. Well at least reading these, I dont feel so dumb. Others are in the same boat. He knows I want to get married and just goes silent when I try to talk about it.
The most he says is, he just doesnt want to get married again. Wont give a reason. Hard to leave after so many years, what seem to be wasted years. I talk about moving, and he doesnt even suggest living together. I guess I know what I need to do, but its so hard. Why Marriage so freaking important to tell everyone they are committed to someone. The love and loyalty you share with someone is 1st priority. But if it is important to one or both, then you need to respect that and recognize the importance.
The thing is Mandy, women give. They put in financially eyc. They have their own homes too.
So taking care of 2 households because he wont move in or let you move in is financially destructive for women. So is feeling used. And once there is a break up, he is secure as she maintained a lot whereas she lost so much money especially if over And you cannot claim it back.
I suggest to women ja, date him but pay only your share nothing else. You be amazed how many men then walk away. In my case, marriage is important. If one of us were to die tomorrow, we know each others wishes, know who gets what, we know what we want to happen. But we have ZERO say in it legally.
I was very open in the beginning advising him I will like to be married again. I was previously married for 8 years and it ended. The interesting thing about this situation is he has three kids 4,7 and 25 by three different women.
I have a child of my own 13 and do not want anymore children. All of his relationships have been anywhere from years with no marriages. Keep in mind this man is 48 and I am Just need some advice.
Thank you so much for this article! I have bin with my man for almost 10 years I have had to watch my friends and family one by one walk down the aisle and it has caused me a great deal of pain. We lived together for 5 years, and were together for 6 years.
In summer I said: 6 months to think - lets get married or lets break up. One year after break up he wrote me letters, we talked In spetember he proposed to our common friend and in he married her!!! We broke up a few years back due to disagreements of marriage and when. We got back together with a compromise but 3 years later still nothing.
Reason being we need to be financially ready- meaning a house. We ended up moving for my job and getting close to buying a house, only to have him relocate for a promotion in his job. What hurts is he has to think about it. Please help! Been waiting since year 3. He had me pick out a really affordable ring. We got pregnant which was fine at the time because we were getting engaged anyhow.
It never happened. If I could go back I would have left when I found out. I feel all alone like a single mom except for finances. At baby shower I felt ridiculous without that ring and him being there.
At the babies birth I debated not having him there. I ended up giving the baby his last name. Huge mistake. Our son is almost two now. Since his birth I have no stopped asking him when when when.
He looks at me quietly. He insists we are getting married. Nothing ever happens. Last year his aunts embarrassed me putting me on he spot calling me his wife and asking when the wedding was. Our son was a few months then. And the year before I was there 7 months pregnant! Why is he even with me? Thousands of dollars. This would seem fine if A. If you want me to be a true single mom then get out of my house!
I feel so stuck here. I feel used! Like he used my body as a baby factory for him! Forget women using men and trapping them by getting pregnant. This is the other way around!
He insists he will prooose by then. He also said he would propose back at my bday in September. We are both 34 and he wants another baby!
I said no sorry no way it will happen. I found this article because I am searching for answers. I am dating my biyfriends for almost 1. We talked about concerns we have. Sounds like we both want to get married and have a family, he defiantly wants to have kids. The key here is my age!
I am almost 40, so the time is very critical for having kids he states he wants kids for sure! The longer we date the less chance I can get pregnant!
I mentioned few times but he seems no rush! Any suggestions? We began our relationship at a rocky time in our lives, when we both had just graduated college and the economy was horrendous.
We had been trying to move in together for a few years prior. We are both perfectly content with our relationship. Marriage is not a priority for me. Who says you have to be married to be committed? Who says you have to marry at all? At our 3rd year he proposed to me and then 4 months later he called the wedding off.
These Are The Real Reasons Your Long-Term Boyfriend Hasn't Proposed Yet
You are sooo right! I think someone knows if it will work out barring any major mental issues within 1. If a man or woman is unable to commit at this point, it is time to let them go. They are trash, and KNOW they are trash. Most people I know who are married, said they could tell within 6 months if this was the right person or not. Relationships are built on trust, respect, and shared life goals and interests.
Dating 2 years and no proposal
If someone really loves you- they commit. I see this more in women then men, but it happens to them too. A bad boy will always remain a bad boy. Anyhow, I was miserable without him. Hi Ginger, I have been dating a guy from my senior year in high school and its will be 10 years this summer.
Every time I talk about or even mention marriage he seems to ignore me. We live together since our early twenties and things seem to be going along but now I am looking for more. Omg I know the feeling!!! No commitment, no security, no future! I kick myself all the time.
Thanks for your honest and insightful post. His primary relationship is with his older sister, and his future plans include family, but not me.
If I really want a commitment, then I need to make my timeline clear and stick to it. I am curious as to what you finally ended up doing and what your situation is now.
Jul 01, These Are The Real Reasons Your Long-Term Boyfriend Hasn't Proposed Yet. We've been dating for four years but three of those years have . Jun 14, Wondering Why He Hasn't Proposed Yet? Remember These 5 Things. Leaving a bridal magazine lying around isn't the right approach. my husband was enjoying our dating relationship, felt no urge to get married right then, and only looked at me blankly when I tried to describe my feelings about the situation. These couples have learned a. May 16, We have both been married prior many years ago, I have no children and him 2 grown girls, we both own our own homes and it is a long distance relationship. We live in the best of both worlds but he wants 90of it to be in his, he wants me living there most of the time but I am aiding my recently widowed father who lives near me.
We truly love each other and vaguely talk of spending our lives together, however things have reached a point where they are comfortable for him and I do not see much of an effort on his part to take things to the next level. It seems that there is always something that deviates his focus from moving forward. He has his business, an older sister who spends a couple of days a every week at his place, his hobbies and activities that keep him busy, and his dog who is like his second child.
He thinks that the longer we wait, the better our chance of staying together forever. I just wish I had some idea of when he thinks he will be ready. I know that he is the type of person who would be fine without someone special in his life. He has made that clear a few times.
Like I said, he has a fulfilling life even without me. However, I would very much like someone to share my life with me more than just on the weekends. Thank you. Hi Meg I am in the same position that you are I have been in a 5 year realtionship with a man who says he wants to commit but here I am still waiting.
Forget about how it is 'supposed to be.'
I actually broke up with him and he wanted to make things work and said things would change that was over a year ago!
It is so difficult when you truly love someome For five years I have been that weekend girlfriend too! Hope this reaches you and let me know how you are doing! Hi i am in a similar situation. I have two young sons who adore him. Your email address will not be published.
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